The sky looked like fire when I was walking home today. And the colours of the Autumn trees next to it were amazing. I need to start taking my camera out with me.
I feel really bad today. I woke up at 2:30am and didn't get back to sleep again. Maybe that's why. I'm all anxious and over-sensitive. All afternoon at work I was on the verge of hyperventilating at the thought that my telephone might ring. It did ring three times, and when it actually rang it didn't really bother me, but for some reason the thought of it ringing was putting me on the verge of a panic attack. And then I got a bit upset over some silly family stuff.. I'm feeling a bit left out now they all ove so close together and spend loads of time together and hadly bother to contact me. I don't want to be a baby about it but it is getting hurtful. And I'm too worried about how to change my life. The problem with changing job is that my current job is so secure and they do seem to value me.. I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence, for some reason I keep managing to convince myself that this is the only job I could do. And I feel lonely and I don't know how to deal with that..
But like I said, these feelings are probably (hopefully) down to the lack of sleep last night. And the fact that I haven't been to the gym all week since Monday. This is because my arms STILL hurt after the exercise class. That's really bad, they must be so unfit and neglected. I need to do a serious health drive next week. And hopefully I'll have saved lots of money this month to put into my "saving for the future" / rainy day ISA.
I need to be better tomorrow.
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