I went for a run on Saturday morning! It was so good. I really was preparing myself to hate it. But I ran so much further than I thought I could in one go, then speed walked a bit, then ran again etc. Each time I ran I would pick out a target that I'd have to reach before I could slow down a bit again, but when I was half way to the target I'd realise I could go further, and when I was walking I would realise I could run again sooner than I'd planned. I was really quite slow, but I enjoyed it and I think I can get better. When I got back to my parents house I just wanted to go straight back out and do it again. But that probably would have been overdoing it. I might not have enjoyed it so much.. Next time I will time myself and I'll try to get better every time.
Friday was my three year anniversary working where I work.. How depressing! It's not so bad really.. It can be quite fulfilling, and on the whole we are making a difference. The main problem is it seems that they don't really have the top people in the higher-up positions. When the people in control keep messing things up it's embarrassing for us when we have to deal with the clients every day. And we're getting so much work, it's getting more and more high profile, in this country and internationally. There's a lot of stability in this job. It's scary thinking about leaving, but at the same time it's scary thinking about staying. I need to just stop being scared and find something I want to do, something it's worth taking the risk on.
I went to the gym for half an hour after work today. Every little helps.
I've done my measurements today...
Upper arm: 29cm
Waist: 78cm
Top of hips: 96cm
Widest point: 102.5cm
Thigh: 60cm
I think it's going to take quite a lot of effort to make a difference because I'm not huge to start off with, but I know I can make my body better so I'm going for it! I had a healthy lunch of cottage cheese and Ryvita and I really liked it, which surprised me a bit! I'll be doing this lunch more often! I've just had a look at my Day One measurements and predictions and I was completely wrong. So far my lower body hasn't really changed too much (maybe slightly bigger) and my arms and waist are maybe a bit smaller.. But it's not really ever so scientific, I'm just using a tape measure and doing it myself so it could all be completely wrong.
Monday, 22 October 2012
Thursday, 18 October 2012
18th October 2012
The sky looked like fire when I was walking home today. And the colours of the Autumn trees next to it were amazing. I need to start taking my camera out with me.
I feel really bad today. I woke up at 2:30am and didn't get back to sleep again. Maybe that's why. I'm all anxious and over-sensitive. All afternoon at work I was on the verge of hyperventilating at the thought that my telephone might ring. It did ring three times, and when it actually rang it didn't really bother me, but for some reason the thought of it ringing was putting me on the verge of a panic attack. And then I got a bit upset over some silly family stuff.. I'm feeling a bit left out now they all ove so close together and spend loads of time together and hadly bother to contact me. I don't want to be a baby about it but it is getting hurtful. And I'm too worried about how to change my life. The problem with changing job is that my current job is so secure and they do seem to value me.. I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence, for some reason I keep managing to convince myself that this is the only job I could do. And I feel lonely and I don't know how to deal with that..
But like I said, these feelings are probably (hopefully) down to the lack of sleep last night. And the fact that I haven't been to the gym all week since Monday. This is because my arms STILL hurt after the exercise class. That's really bad, they must be so unfit and neglected. I need to do a serious health drive next week. And hopefully I'll have saved lots of money this month to put into my "saving for the future" / rainy day ISA.
I need to be better tomorrow.
I feel really bad today. I woke up at 2:30am and didn't get back to sleep again. Maybe that's why. I'm all anxious and over-sensitive. All afternoon at work I was on the verge of hyperventilating at the thought that my telephone might ring. It did ring three times, and when it actually rang it didn't really bother me, but for some reason the thought of it ringing was putting me on the verge of a panic attack. And then I got a bit upset over some silly family stuff.. I'm feeling a bit left out now they all ove so close together and spend loads of time together and hadly bother to contact me. I don't want to be a baby about it but it is getting hurtful. And I'm too worried about how to change my life. The problem with changing job is that my current job is so secure and they do seem to value me.. I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence, for some reason I keep managing to convince myself that this is the only job I could do. And I feel lonely and I don't know how to deal with that..
But like I said, these feelings are probably (hopefully) down to the lack of sleep last night. And the fact that I haven't been to the gym all week since Monday. This is because my arms STILL hurt after the exercise class. That's really bad, they must be so unfit and neglected. I need to do a serious health drive next week. And hopefully I'll have saved lots of money this month to put into my "saving for the future" / rainy day ISA.
I need to be better tomorrow.
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Wednesday 17th October 2012
Today I found out I got a 4% pay rise! It's not a massive amount of money, but as it was a cross-company pay rise with the percentage based on productivity I feel pretty happy with it, especially when we were told the average is 3% and my friend said the lowest we could get was 2.8%. My company has been really good to me, it's just the way I see other people being treated by them that upsets me, and I am kind of waiting for them to stab me in the back at any moment.
My arms are still killing from the exercise class on Monday evening. But my body feels so different (improved) after just one class. I need to book on to one next week to keep this up! I thought I was getting fairly fit from all the time I've been spending in the gym, but I guess I've just been doing the same thing over and over again.. I need to keep working all the different muscles. So this evening I had a go at one of the mini workouts from a magazine I bought. I think I pushed myself pretty hard with it, I'll have to try to keep this up. Now I'm starting to look forward to my first ever jog on Saturday morning.
My arms are still killing from the exercise class on Monday evening. But my body feels so different (improved) after just one class. I need to book on to one next week to keep this up! I thought I was getting fairly fit from all the time I've been spending in the gym, but I guess I've just been doing the same thing over and over again.. I need to keep working all the different muscles. So this evening I had a go at one of the mini workouts from a magazine I bought. I think I pushed myself pretty hard with it, I'll have to try to keep this up. Now I'm starting to look forward to my first ever jog on Saturday morning.
Monday, 15 October 2012
Monday 15th October
Just been to my first fitness class - Total Toning. It was really good! When I first got there I thought I would hate it because it was like circuit training and I used to be terrible at that kind of thing when I was at school, but I really got in to it. I managed to keep up with most of it, and the instructor said I did really well for a first time. I discovered some things I'm really quite good at, like planks and back bends, and I managed to keep going until right to the end. I did skipping, press ups (not so good at those), bench press weights, running, step aerobics. I want to book on to another class as soon as I can!
When I got in I made myself a cashew nut, Quorn and pea curry again, with steamed vegetables. And I had a fairly healthy lunch too.
I used my pedometer - 10963 steps, although I think between 2000 and 3000 of those were when I was accidently jiggling my leg at my desk.. 4428 aerobic steps is probably a better indicator, that's 42 mins.
We had a big presentation today from the big boss of the entire company. He's so good, really inspiring. He almost makes me forget I need to get out of there. Need to stop festering... The good news was we'll be getting a pay increase across the company, but this time it will be based on levelling out pay across the different bands and also on productivity... So there's an average of 3% increase I'm hoping for more than that because I know I work a lot more than most people in my team and I'm pretty sure I'm paid less than some.
When I got in I made myself a cashew nut, Quorn and pea curry again, with steamed vegetables. And I had a fairly healthy lunch too.
I used my pedometer - 10963 steps, although I think between 2000 and 3000 of those were when I was accidently jiggling my leg at my desk.. 4428 aerobic steps is probably a better indicator, that's 42 mins.
We had a big presentation today from the big boss of the entire company. He's so good, really inspiring. He almost makes me forget I need to get out of there. Need to stop festering... The good news was we'll be getting a pay increase across the company, but this time it will be based on levelling out pay across the different bands and also on productivity... So there's an average of 3% increase I'm hoping for more than that because I know I work a lot more than most people in my team and I'm pretty sure I'm paid less than some.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Sunday 14th October 2012
Yesterday I had another lovely night out with some of my girls.. Charlotte's birthday in London. She hired a booth in a club overlooking Piccadilly Circus. Charlotte loved the present I got her, it was so nice to see how happy she was with it! It was a very cool evening, and actually a fairly cheap night out - £24 for the return mini bus ride and then I only paid for one cocktail for about £8. Melissa got me one too, so that's not bad for the night, my health drive is still intact.
Speaking of which, Melissa dropped me off at the gym so I spent half an hour on the cross trainer.. Then got back to town in time to go to the shops and buy a Pilates mat, and get a new battery for my pedometer so I'll start that up again now. I must have spent about 6 months monitoring my steps when I lived in Watford, trying to do as many as possible every day.
While I was at the gym I started thinking about food - started off deciding I was going to get a take-away as it's Sunday, then thought I should cook it myself as it's healthier and cheaper, then decided to go to full - on healthy with Quorn and cashew nut Thai curry with brocoli and beans. Was really good, and felt good putting the effort in to what I'm eating.
Melissa talked me into texting the ex, so that I would finally know either way whether something might happen between us. He didn't text me back. So in a way it was a waste of time because I still don't know for sure either way. But for now not getting a response has annoyed me so I'll be more proactive about seeing other men. In Marks and Spencers yesterday I saw a man. I think I was more attracted to him in the ten minutes we were in the same shop than I had been to anyone for a long time. He looked a bit like Adrien Brody. I don't usually fancy someone based purely on looks, but this was one of those times when you just look at someone and know they're the kind of person you'd like to know.. I subtly followed him around the shop for about 60 seconds then I left him to it. It was nice while it lasted!
Yesterday I got my hair cut. This must be some sort of record for me because it's only 8 weeks since I last had it cut. I'm finally putting more effort into the way I look. Last week I made sure my hair looked good, wore my contact lenses and I looked after my skin every day. I know it's a shallow sort of feeling, but it made me feel a bit better every day.
Yesterday I listened to the latest Grizzly Bear album (a couple of times). It's soooo good! Just one of those heartwarming sounds.
This evening I was singing along to The Strokes - Angles, and now I'm relaxing to The National - High Violet.
So I've got the Total Toning class tomorrow, I'm a bit scared but really excited.
Took my measurements, but the only thing that had actually gone down was my weight - down to 70.5kg (so that's -0.6kg) so I'm not going to bother writing it down this week, just work for something better next week!
So the end of this week is the end of my leave year.. Which means I should probably start applying for jobs..
Speaking of which, Melissa dropped me off at the gym so I spent half an hour on the cross trainer.. Then got back to town in time to go to the shops and buy a Pilates mat, and get a new battery for my pedometer so I'll start that up again now. I must have spent about 6 months monitoring my steps when I lived in Watford, trying to do as many as possible every day.
While I was at the gym I started thinking about food - started off deciding I was going to get a take-away as it's Sunday, then thought I should cook it myself as it's healthier and cheaper, then decided to go to full - on healthy with Quorn and cashew nut Thai curry with brocoli and beans. Was really good, and felt good putting the effort in to what I'm eating.
Melissa talked me into texting the ex, so that I would finally know either way whether something might happen between us. He didn't text me back. So in a way it was a waste of time because I still don't know for sure either way. But for now not getting a response has annoyed me so I'll be more proactive about seeing other men. In Marks and Spencers yesterday I saw a man. I think I was more attracted to him in the ten minutes we were in the same shop than I had been to anyone for a long time. He looked a bit like Adrien Brody. I don't usually fancy someone based purely on looks, but this was one of those times when you just look at someone and know they're the kind of person you'd like to know.. I subtly followed him around the shop for about 60 seconds then I left him to it. It was nice while it lasted!
Yesterday I got my hair cut. This must be some sort of record for me because it's only 8 weeks since I last had it cut. I'm finally putting more effort into the way I look. Last week I made sure my hair looked good, wore my contact lenses and I looked after my skin every day. I know it's a shallow sort of feeling, but it made me feel a bit better every day.
Yesterday I listened to the latest Grizzly Bear album (a couple of times). It's soooo good! Just one of those heartwarming sounds.
This evening I was singing along to The Strokes - Angles, and now I'm relaxing to The National - High Violet.
So I've got the Total Toning class tomorrow, I'm a bit scared but really excited.
Took my measurements, but the only thing that had actually gone down was my weight - down to 70.5kg (so that's -0.6kg) so I'm not going to bother writing it down this week, just work for something better next week!
So the end of this week is the end of my leave year.. Which means I should probably start applying for jobs..
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Day Five (Thursday 11th October 2012)
I'm still on the verge of developing a cold. I almost can't breathe through one of my nostrils. I guess the cocktails and late night last night might not have been the smartest move..
I ate a ridiculous amount yesterday, it was embarrassing. Today I was just about to go to the canteen for chocolate but I changed my mind. Mostly because I knew that if I changed my mind it would be something I'd be able to write down here as a victory.
After work I headed to the gym again, so half an hour walk there, then an hour on the alternative cross trainer machine (I need to find out what this machine is called) which burnt 800 calories! Then all of the three weights machines that I've been taught to use, followed by a little go on the Power Plate. I'm really enjoying the gym at the moment. It really gives you loads more energy - when I left work I was ready for bed, now I'm still dancing around to the Neon Neon album.
Spoke to Simone today, she's sent me details of a job she's found for me and she says she'll keep an eye out for more. I need to get as proactive for my future as she is! The problem with the job is that it's for a French speaker and I've lost all of my confidence with the language (plus, if they say French speaker it generally means a native speaker.. Might still be worth a look).
I ate a ridiculous amount yesterday, it was embarrassing. Today I was just about to go to the canteen for chocolate but I changed my mind. Mostly because I knew that if I changed my mind it would be something I'd be able to write down here as a victory.
After work I headed to the gym again, so half an hour walk there, then an hour on the alternative cross trainer machine (I need to find out what this machine is called) which burnt 800 calories! Then all of the three weights machines that I've been taught to use, followed by a little go on the Power Plate. I'm really enjoying the gym at the moment. It really gives you loads more energy - when I left work I was ready for bed, now I'm still dancing around to the Neon Neon album.
Spoke to Simone today, she's sent me details of a job she's found for me and she says she'll keep an eye out for more. I need to get as proactive for my future as she is! The problem with the job is that it's for a French speaker and I've lost all of my confidence with the language (plus, if they say French speaker it generally means a native speaker.. Might still be worth a look).
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Day Four (Wednesday 10th October 2012)
No life changing moments today... I just made it to the end of the working day without too much trouble..
I'm getting a cold, so I've decided to go in for the "feed a cold..." saying. I ate two main meals today, and quite a lot of cake and biscuits. I've just been out for pizza and a cocktail with my housemates, they're such good girls... Worth consuming a ridiculous number of calories for them. On the plus side I did eat lots of jalepinos, which I've just read are very good for your metabolism, so maybe all is not lost... although I will be taking it easy on the food front tomorrow, and hopefully if I can keep this cold at bay I will spend a decent amount of time at the gym tomorrow evening.
Also my every-now-and-then man text me this evening asking if we can renew our acquaintance... I'm really not sure what to say. It's nice to have something on the back-burner but I know it's going nowhere so I don't think I'm in the mood for it right now.. I might delay him a bit.. Still, it's nice to feel a bit wanted.
I'm getting a cold, so I've decided to go in for the "feed a cold..." saying. I ate two main meals today, and quite a lot of cake and biscuits. I've just been out for pizza and a cocktail with my housemates, they're such good girls... Worth consuming a ridiculous number of calories for them. On the plus side I did eat lots of jalepinos, which I've just read are very good for your metabolism, so maybe all is not lost... although I will be taking it easy on the food front tomorrow, and hopefully if I can keep this cold at bay I will spend a decent amount of time at the gym tomorrow evening.
Also my every-now-and-then man text me this evening asking if we can renew our acquaintance... I'm really not sure what to say. It's nice to have something on the back-burner but I know it's going nowhere so I don't think I'm in the mood for it right now.. I might delay him a bit.. Still, it's nice to feel a bit wanted.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)